Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Changes are coming

I know I've blabbed on more than once here about how much my work set-up since returning to work has, well, worked for me. As moms, we're all looking for that mythical work-life balance, and I had seriously discovered it. Working part-time, almost all from home, doing things I loved to do. I could work hard all morning, yes, in my pajamas, drinking my favorite coffee out of my favorite mug. Then two seconds after my work was done for the day, I could wander downstairs and make my kids lunch. I even staved off most of the chore that is pumping, since I could grab the baby and nurse him while sitting at my computer, and then hand him back to Dada (or whichever other caretaker we had that day). Our childcare was totally free, and I didn't feel like I was asking too much of family, just one afternoon a week for each side, an amount they were happy to accept. I was feeling oh-so-lucky. I kept reminding myself to enjoy it why it lasted.

I'm glad I did.

Because it will be over by the end of this month.

Forces out of my control have led to me being reassigned at work. The job I was fulfilling is no longer needed, and it was the ONLY position for which my company offered the kind of flexibility I enjoyed. So by the end of the month, it will be back to commuting and being out of the house. As for what my job will actually be and whether it will be something I will enjoy, I don't know. I'm hopeful, but I don't know.

All of this is stressful. I am happy to be employed. It could be worse. But I'm also mourning the balance we've enjoyed. It's been wonderful in a way I couldn't have imagined. I feel seriously grief that it will be a memory come November.

I hope whatever comes, I'll still find time for sewing and creating, because it does feed my soul in a way I've decided I must have. It's funny, but this recent job news has made me more aware of how stress-reducing sewing is for me, and I wonder if that explains why it's become so important to me at this juncture of my life. Besides the stress of becoming a parent, we've had lots of job-related angst -- our company has had job cuts, furloughs, pay freezes, pay reductions, and heightened workloads for the last few years. The morale is bad. Good news has been minimal, and the outlook for the future is no better. It's been scary, negative, and stressful conditions for work. People sometimes ask how I can find time to sew, and thinking about it in this light makes me think the right response is really, How can I afford not to? Sewing -- and writing -- are my happy places, the things that keep my soul buoyed. Those things are essential, especially when stress creeps in.

I've said before that I will keep sewing and blogging despite schedule changes that make it tough. I suppose I'm saying that once again. I really probably don't need to. If you sew or create, you get it, right? Leave me a comment and tell me, I'd love to hear you take.

9 comments:

  1. One of the good things I can see about this coming change is that we can meet up for lunch downtown (so excited to do that with you!)

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  2. I am sorry to hear about the changes in your work, but am happy for you that you still have a job. I crave for time to create right now, but with the twins and a newborn, I am physically and emotionally exhausted whenever it is time for me. I will be here to read whenever you get time to create, although I don't usually have too much time to reply. Take it easy and try and find time where you can.

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  3. Sorry about the enforced changes, I know how stressful that sort of thing can be (((((HUGS))))) Good luck with the new role, hope it goes well, and you can find your balance again

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  4. ah, well changes can be good, it sucks though that you had the perfect set up.

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  5. Right there with you. I have a two month old son, my first, and I am still trying to find that magical balance. And a job. My previous employment was contract and ended when my kid was here. I have been struggling to learn how to be a parent and a crafter and a wife and find a new job . I envy your family support. Sewing is keeping me sane, even just thinking or reading about it. I hope we both find the balance we need.

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  6. Good luck with the change!! I am right there with you. My current position is being eliminated so I had to find something else. The last 6 months have been incredibly stressful but I was finally able to find a new position and will start on Halloween! It sounds like a great opportunity as well as a great company. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, so hopefully someday you will figure out the reason for this change and it will work out for the better. Good luck and hang in there!

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  7. Ugh, Krista. I am sorry you are being forced back into commuting and being away from the boys. I will be thinking of and praying for you as you navigate this new journey God is leading you on. I know you, and you will find the balance. I am happy to read that you will keep sewing and being creative. I know that, when I allow myself time for me, it definitely feeds my soul as well. And we, as moms, need that.

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  8. Sorry to hear things are going to be changing for you, Krista. Hopefully everything works out for you. You definitely need to carve out some time for yourself, and if sewing is what you want to do with that time, then do it!

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  9. I so get it! I'm always wishing for more 'flex-time', but am grateful for your reminder to be thankful for what I do have, and the necessity of making time for crafting/writing/sewing!

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