I know I've blabbed on more than once here about how much my work set-up since returning to work has, well, worked for me. As moms, we're all looking for that mythical work-life balance, and I had seriously discovered it. Working part-time, almost all from home, doing things I loved to do. I could work hard all morning, yes, in my pajamas, drinking my favorite coffee out of my favorite mug. Then two seconds after my work was done for the day, I could wander downstairs and make my kids lunch. I even staved off most of the chore that is pumping, since I could grab the baby and nurse him while sitting at my computer, and then hand him back to Dada (or whichever other caretaker we had that day). Our childcare was totally free, and I didn't feel like I was asking too much of family, just one afternoon a week for each side, an amount they were happy to accept. I was feeling oh-so-lucky. I kept reminding myself to enjoy it why it lasted.
I'm glad I did.
Because it will be over by the end of this month.
Forces out of my control have led to me being reassigned at work. The job I was fulfilling is no longer needed, and it was the ONLY position for which my company offered the kind of flexibility I enjoyed. So by the end of the month, it will be back to commuting and being out of the house. As for what my job will actually be and whether it will be something I will enjoy, I don't know. I'm hopeful, but I don't know.
All of this is stressful. I am happy to be employed. It could be worse. But I'm also mourning the balance we've enjoyed. It's been wonderful in a way I couldn't have imagined. I feel seriously grief that it will be a memory come November.
I hope whatever comes, I'll still find time for sewing and creating, because it does feed my soul in a way I've decided I must have. It's funny, but this recent job news has made me more aware of how stress-reducing sewing is for me, and I wonder if that explains why it's become so important to me at this juncture of my life. Besides the stress of becoming a parent, we've had lots of job-related angst -- our company has had job cuts, furloughs, pay freezes, pay reductions, and heightened workloads for the last few years. The morale is bad. Good news has been minimal, and the outlook for the future is no better. It's been scary, negative, and stressful conditions for work. People sometimes ask how I can find time to sew, and thinking about it in this light makes me think the right response is really, How can I afford not to? Sewing -- and writing -- are my happy places, the things that keep my soul buoyed. Those things are essential, especially when stress creeps in.
I've said before that I will keep sewing and blogging despite schedule changes that make it tough. I suppose I'm saying that once again. I really probably don't need to. If you sew or create, you get it, right? Leave me a comment and tell me, I'd love to hear you take.